when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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