Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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