I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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