Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
