I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
