ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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