Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
