dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
