Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize