just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
