woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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