you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
