can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
