More tranny stories later!
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
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