You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
