Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
If I die, sorry about rent.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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