I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
