The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i came on her dog
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
