he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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