i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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