omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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