Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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