hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
