I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize