what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
