Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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