Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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