i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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