So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
