I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
