the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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