Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
