So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
It's rum buckets o'clock
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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