C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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