decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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