They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Green mimosas i think yes
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
