so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
