we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
