@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
