Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
