sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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