she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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