I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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