I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
