The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
