so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
