it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
