Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize