belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
