she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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