I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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