Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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