I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
