Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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