"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
