Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
