I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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