he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
