sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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