Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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