Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
