Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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