How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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