I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
